{Life with your Dad}

Had a bad day yesterday…it started ok, I had no plans other then cooking and hanging up my clothes. Your dad asked me to get Duke dog food and a collar and he wanted me to fix him some egg salad and meatloaf. I took Duke and went shopping….decided I needed to wash the car so I went to pick up my free car wash card I get at KIA monthly… I drove into the dealership; I was not thinking at all and I went to park …I scraped the left side of my car big time on a large concrete pole. I was so angry at myself! It took me some screaming in the car for least a minute to calm down.

I don’t think I want to wash my car…the white paint from the pole won’t come out….Thank goodness I lowered the deductible to $250.

Filled the car up with gas and got the largest chocolate candy bar I could get; ate it and I felt better. Had the car checked out by your dad and Calvin….they both said “Dang”

I went to bed early but could not sleep and at about 11pm I went to the couch as it is cooler in the front room with the AC. After awhile I heard your dad in the front room messing around with Duke and opening doors. He let Duke out in the back yard. I turned around and went back to sleep. A while later I hear the front door open, and I thought Keary must be taking Duke out again.

I woke up with a start, it’s 4:30 am, where is Keary I didn’t hear him come back in. I look in his room …No Keary, the cell phone is on his table; and the electric wheel chair is sitting right next to the bed...Manual wheel chair is gone…My mind is blank!

I grab my wallet and car keys and get in the car…I am in panic mode! I get to the Apt entrance. I look left….Maybe he took Duke to the empty field. I see nothing…no traffic…no nothing except mist. I look right and about a Block and a half in the right lane is your dad in his wheel chair being pulled by Duke. Going the opposite direction of home!

I drive up to him and ask him what he is doing… “I don’t know where I am”

"Why do you have the manual wheel chair"

“I’m getting exercise so I can sleep and exercising will keep me alive longer”

I am in the middle of the street…I put Duke and your dad in the car. I put the wheel chair in the back of the car.

“What time is it?”
“4:30”
“Boy, I left at one, I fell of the chair I guess it took me a long time to get up”
“Where did you fall?”
“At the School”
“Dang, Keary”

I bring them home; I get his electric wheel chair. I help your dad get in bed and take his meds I tell him “never do that again” …He replies “But then you won’t be aggravated! I see the twinkle in his eyes … I laugh “I love you Keary”

I go to bed and I pray. My last thought as I go to sleep; “I am going back on anti-depressants!”

{News About Your Dad!}

I feel compelled to let you know the state of your father’s health.

Things have been stable for a while but it is almost a year since your Dad has signed his DNR. As you all know he does have a nurse come in weekly to check his heart, blood pressure, weight gain, blood sugars, any discomfort or abnormalities.

We also hired a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) Calvin to help daily. He comes in about noon and makes sure your dad eats and takes his med. He also keeps the house clean and makes sure your father’s needs are met ie: clean bedroom, change of sheet, bathroom cleaned etc. Because Keary’s eyesight is getting weaker I fix his syringes once a week for his daily insulin intake. He now has a pre-measured insulin syringes for his overage. And of course he has Duke as a companion.

We had for a while some home teachers that came by often, but since Calvin comes in we don’t see much of them anymore. He also had sacrament come in on Sundays but that again has fallen thru the cracks. I did address it with one of the counselors about 2 Sundays ago and someone showed up; but not this last week. His home teacher used to take him to the Temple once a month but it has been a while since that has happened and I am not sure if it is because your dad cancels or what.

So now for the updates:
Within the last 3 months your dad has lost about 25lbs, he has sporadic heart attacks, and of course some eyesight loss. A couple of Sundays ago your dad had a heart attack he felt and I wanted to take him to the Hospital and he refused. The next Tuesday I addressed this with his nurse. The nurse stated that the palliative care your father is receiving is to make him comfortable and pain free and live a reasonable comfortable life. There will be no intervention or aggressive health care unless your dad and I decide that is what he wants. (We discussed this and he doesn’t)

He has also developed a thyroid problem that makes him sleep a lot because he is always fatigued; he is on medication for that. Tuesday the nurse gave him a prescription for Ritalin to boost his energy. He went in yesterday for blood tests to detrmine the levels of his thyroid and check his heart enzymes. Today he went in to see his Dr.

As per the conversation I had with your Dad the following occurred:

1. His heart is slowly being damaged and the only alternative is to have a heart by-pass but he would not survive the surgery due to the fact that his body would not survive the anesthesia, his heart would not improve by much.

2. The blood tests also indicated that his liver enzymes are not normal and have not been since 2007 but now they are going to do a sonogram to determine the extent of the damage to his liver. The Dr told your Dad that the normal thing for him would be to be hospitalized for a battery of tests to minimize the damage to the liver; Dad told her he was not going to the hospital. The Dr agreed and she scheduled the sonogram as an out-patient for Aug 12.

3. He is receiving many types of medication to cover many his conditions; however the liver condition cannot be medicated because this medication would make his low blood pressure even lower putting more stress on the heart.

So… as per my conversation with your dad he believes not being hospitalized and having all these procedures will prolong his life. He states he has prayed about it and feels it is the right thing for him to do. He does have a DNR in place and I will do as he asks.

I just wanted to update ya’ll with what is happening. I know that you girls read these blogs but am not sure of your brothers, we don’t seem to hear from them much. So please pass this on to Alex and Andrew I am sure they would want to know this also.

Love you all!